Relationships

So, I just finished watching 'The Last Kiss' and yesterday I watched 'The Breakup'. Hence, this post.

The thing with relationships is, you gotta be in them yet be out of them. You never know what the other person's going to throw at you and you've always gotta have your safety net on yet love them with all your heart. Love them with all your heart, yes, otherwise it's just not worth it.

One thing's for sure and I say this out of experience. The more social of the two partners always has an upper hand in the relationship. As ridiculous as it might sound, the one whose friends and family the couple hang out the most with is the one who eventually calls the shots. And with good reason. It doesn't just mean that you're the more talkative or outgoing one if you're more social. It means that when things get tough, which they always do- at some point or another- the social one's friends and family are going to stick by the couple and give them advise or make them come back together. Hence, the support system becomes of the more social one.

So, ladies, don't do what we usually do when we're in a relationship- distance out from your friends and family to get close to his. Sure, you gotta make some sacrifices here and there, but for the most, make him hang around with your circle as well. Most importantly, make him RESPECT the people you love, because boys tend to do just the opposite. Because we bitch and crib about certain things when they're bad, the boys just start feeling blah about them- whether it's your mom, your best friend, your cousins or even your dad. As fake as it might seem when things go rotten, don't bitch to your guy. He doesn't enjoy it and when he starts being disinterested in your friends and/or family cuz of it, don't blame him. You did that to yourself.

And boys, love is not a fairytale. It gets boring, scary, rotten, annoying and even too pressing at times. But that doesn't mean you walk away. No, you NEVER walk away. That's the thing with relationships. They're going to get messed up. At some point or the other, IT'S GOING TO SUCK! So pull yourself and her together and WORK IT OUT. No matter HOW bad things are, there's ALWAYS a way to work it out. Believe in this and pull her in with you. She can't be that bad, I promise.

With all that preaching I shall take thy leave. Cuz I don't know what to do with this guy that I'm seeing. He's awesome but things between us aren't exactly that right now. They're not bad but they're not awesome. I wish they were, but they aren't. Ta-da. That's reality.

My Bombay

I'm back in Bombay. And how!

Four months of being away from the city melted into a blurred memory within a few hours of landing at the Santacruz airport. Having spent a few hours roaming the streets, paying tribute to Marine Drive, chatting up all my pseudo-bhai-log friends, I feel like I never went away.

That leaves me to wonder.. WHY do people, oncluding me, love Bombay the way we do? Is it because we're a little filmy inside? Or because everyone seems to say it so what the hell, let's follow the herd? I think it's neither.

Sure, most people love the city. But there are plenty that hate it too.

To tell you why I love it:

It's next to the sea. And being the water baby that I am, I need my proximity to the sea. And to just stare at it every once in a while (read: every weekend).

It's buzzing with people. The millions are, truly, the city's strength. Sure, it's a little intimidating being alone here at first, because you get sucked into the crowds and all that. But it's that many stories, that many different lives existing in the same humdrum of the world. And that's fascinating beyond anything to me.

The food. Oh so many options.

The theatre. The number of plays and gigs and stand up comedy shows in different parts of the city. There's just so much to do!!

The enterprising attitude of the people. Every job is everyone's business. Money must be made and all of one's grey cells must be used optimally. So the bhajiya guy in the local market knows how to get me an illegal cylinder, the guard at the doctor's clinic I went to visit will double up as a broker and the auto driver who took me to Bandra yesterday is also a television mechanic. Its people are the ones that make the city special. It's a cliche proven true when they say the city has its own spirit.

Shopping. From the piggy-shaped pancake mould at Debenham's to the lovely floral dresses in the tiny shops of Bandra; from the grilling machine in Crawford market to the junk jewellery at Colaba; from the luxury stores in Palladium to the roadside, dressy Kolhapuri chappals on Link Road. If only I had an overflowing wallet.

 The weather. Yes, you may not like it but I come from Cal and the weather there is just like it's in Bombay. I may crib about it when it gets too hot or humid but somewhere deep down, it works for me. And it instantly feels like home.



PS- My only gripe with the city- it makes me feel poor. I have just too many things to do, too many places to discover and too many things to buy. But then, it's that much motivation to do well and lots more money. Question now is, how?

Recipe: Eggless chocolate-filled cookies

I browsed through a few cookie recipes on the web but none seemed to suggest a good one to bake eggless chocolate-filled cookies. So I put a few basic ingredients together and tried my own recipe. For those of you who want to bake delicious cookies without tossing an egg or two in them, here's how:

Ingredients:
50gm butter
75 gm sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
150 gm condensed milk (a can has about 400 gm so you need less than half)
1 tsp baking powder
2.5 tbsp cocoa powder
1.5 cups all purpose flour or maida

Method:
Take a container, plop the butter and sugar in it. Mix well for 2-3 minutes.
Add vanilla essence, condensed milk and mix again.
Now sift the flour, cocoa and baking powder and gently fold in into the butter-mix you made above.
Use a few drops of milk if the batter is too crumbly. It is not supposed to be smooth and runny like a cake batter do please don't "pour" milk/water in t..
Now knead it like normal dough, cover in cling wrap and keep it in the fridge for 20-30 mins.
Take out the dough, roll it with a rolling pin, cut 1.5 inch circles (use a small bowl).
Take a baking tray. Line it with butter paper. Spread a base circle of your cookie batter, pour some melted chocolate on it with a spoon, then put another circle of your cookie batter and pinch the sides so that your batter does not flow out. Repeat and use the entire batter.
Pre heat over for 10 mins to 180 degrees.
Put in your cookie tray.
Bake for 9-11 minutes at 150 degrees.
Let it cool. Serve with chilled milk or gobble them down as they are. Happy eating!

Conversations and Bombay

Ever since I've left Bombay, I've had few (if any) good conversations with any interesting people. Sure, I'm back to Cal- the city where i was born and raised- and I'm back to the comfort of my home, but something's amiss. And that's interesting conversations.

It's not like I don't have good friends here or that my folks are boring. In fact, most of my friends from school and undergrad are right here and most are very intelligent individuals. As for my parents, the mother is extremely well read and the father is superbly street smart. Considering this fabulous social structure of friends and family is what I've come back to, I should be sufficiently satisfied, right? But I'm not.

I was constantly seeking something. I had no idea what that was. But in my hunt for the things that'll make me stay in Cal and not move back to Bombay, I've found very little to hold me back.

Only recently did I realise what it was that I've been searching- conversations. With interesting people. About things thus unknown. About stories thus untold.

It's those stimulating, random chats I miss here in Cal. With people I cannot relate to, with people who're so different from me that I'd never imagined the existence of their kind. With people that make me feel like I have a zillion cities to visit, a gazillion things to learn and shiploads to learn of the world from.

Which is why I guess I fell hopelessly in love with Bombay. The city's teeming millions offer a huge plus- the entire gamut of human personalities. From the burka clad, conservative Muslim girl- a mother of two at the premature age of 22- to the Parsi lady who yells abuses at you if you don't obey her "shift please" in the local train; from the students of HR, KC, XIC to the SoBo aunties in their fit flops; from the hair-clip-sellers on the trains to the freeloader friends. There were just SO MANY PEOPLE! And with that many people, there are that many interesting conversations to be had!

But at home the familiarities are comforting. Yes, that sense of familiarity sets home apart from the rest of the world. That's why it's awesome to COME BACK home. But not to stay there forever!

Which is why I love Bombay. It's mine and it's crazy as hell. But it's where I felt like I belonged. Because of the things I love eating, all the things I love doing and all the conversations I now realised I was having.

My Aqua Lilly

Smells like aqua lily
She smiles like the sun
She shies like the moon
Smell so tender like aqua lily

Smells like aqua lily
She talks like the rain
She walks like the wind
Smell so sweet like aqua lily

Smells like aqua lily
She passes me by
She gives me a high
Smell so toxic like aqua lily

Smells like aqua lily
She looks like a flower
She thinks like a child
Smell so innocent like aqua lily!

Smells like aqua lily
She is fresh like dew
Like a morning so new
Smell so crisp like aqua lily

What/who do I want to be?

Planning ahead for an obscure future is always easier than being faced with life-changing decisions. All those fluffy plans are all good but you've got to pick ONE of them when opportunities come knocking at your door. And that time is NOW for me.

I've had awesome opportunities come to me, with a chance to work in different fields and different work environments. NGO, Ad firm, small print org, big action-packed print org and finally, a broadcast channel which is arguably the best in the country. And honestly, I've wanted all of these. One by one, as I finished working for each, I realised this is not what I want to do. They were all internships so my attitude was fair enough. But now that I'm about to start a proper job, I need to figure out what I really want to do. Like the REALLY-want-to-do kinda feeling has to come.

My boss said something today that got me thinking. "A job is a tool for self discovery," she said. So true. Being at **** Entertainment has made me realise that I don't care much for these filmstars. I mean, sure, I'd be interested in their love affairs and scandals but only when I chat with my friends or meet colleagues for a drink. But to do that for a living is a bit of a stretch.

The problem is, it just seems un-meaningful most of the times and completely ridiculous at others. I mean seriously, how interested is anyone in the launch of film trailers and actors launching luxury watches(that's the kinda stuff I've done in my first week here, fyi). Even otherwise, isn't the whole entertainment sector a little redundant to the society? Or is it not?

Maybe I'm just looking at it in a very skewed way. I've always wanted to do something in food, fashion, lifestyle, travel kinda work. So, ideally, I should be with the lifestyle channel. But what would I do there? Only the creme-de-la-creme of anchors host their shows (the likes of Paras Tomar who walked into office the other day and I couldn't help but steal glances at him- I've had a crush on him since he started coming on air!). So, I'd probably be in planning and whatever else in their shows. Not interesting enough.

So all the pluses add up here. I've always wanted the social life and creme contacts, which I'm going to get here. A job that teaches you something new and makes you interact with interesting people everyday- that happens here too. The fact that I'm with the top-of-the-chain entertainment channel surely helps in adding the intelligence factor to it all. Plus, I still get to be a journalist- albeit of a different sort. Writing can keep happening once I have this life figured out. And, most of all, I can keep this job going along with my "maru" life. Although I will have to live in Mumbai and be with an open-minded, encouraging guy who doesn't see my career as competition to his. But to find a guy like that in the maru community is a big challenge. I know I'm thinking a lot but this is my entire life that shall be altered with this one very important february.

So, yes, I like this job. I enjoy it. I just feel it gets a little ridiculous at times but then, that's life. It cannot be all perfect. Even with crime and hard news stories, I'd feel bored most times. It was certainly more interesting but a LOT less fun. And definitely not something I can do all my life.

Hence, I shall give this my best shot. This weekend shall be a weekend for soul searching.

With that, I bid thee adieu. Have a happy weekend.

City of dreams

Hellooo Mumbaiii !

Most cliches as so perfect, they do justice to a situation almost everytime they're used. One such cliche is that of calling Mumbai the city of dreams. It's not just the poor men from Bihar or the aspiring actors/directors that come here with dreams. I'm here with one too- of being an independent, strong girl. It's my new year's resolution- to survive, correction LIVE, in Bombay. Because if I can do that to the T, I can survive anywhere. Well, almost. I won't really know that for sure unless I get to another place. At least I'll feel like that.

But one day in the city and these are some of the things I have noticed/felt:

I love Parsis. Not that I know much about them, though. They just seem like a very endearing community. A little cranky sometimes, perhaps, but so "parsi" in the way they are and in the way they dress. And you see so many of them in Bombay.

A vada pav vala stands at every corner. Local trains are quite literally the wheels of the city. The massive population. Neta-topi donning "dabbawallas". Yes, all those typical "hindi-movie-cliche depictions.

People are a little non-chalant. Will respond well if you ask for help.

The city is expensive but it has its ways to live cheap. Hunt around for cheap food and cheap transport and you'll find plenty.

Wear what you want. No one cares. Much lesser starers than Calcutta/Bangalore. AWESOME.

The city should be called MYOBay. Mind Your Own Business ay! Cuz ppl let you be. And that makes you find yourself here. That's why it's called the city of dreams. It may fulfill the dream you came with, or not. But it'll definitely make you dream more dreams and find a way to fulfill them.